By James Clear
Did I tell you guys that I started a Book Club? Yes I did. February
I love to read, and there are many of us also that love to read, but we feel like we need a little push, maybe just a little or we need a partner, someone that would suggest a book for us and we’ll later talk about it or not. So I thought of creating a group for that.
It’s like this: every week a Reader drops a book for the group, and that’s for one week, and another person drops a book for the next week. And that’s how we keep cycling. The major objective here is not to finish the book within the week, but to cultivate the habit of reading at least a page evey day. That is the goal.
If you wish to join our Book Club, click on the WhatsApp link here to join: https://chat.whatsapp.com/LuDsMdP5PxOLrcAwaWz9tP
This week, we read the book Atomic Habits. Here’s a review and summary of it, I do hope that you get something form here.
A habit is a routine or behaviour that we performed regularly – and in many cases automatically.
You know those little things that you do without thinking it. Like, before you realise what’s happening, you’re already doing them – that’s habit.
For myself, it’s become a habit that anytime I’m reading or writing or even watching a movie, I start to twist my hair unconsciously; and that’s one habit that I wish to change.
I remember my days in High school, every time I come back from school, I change my clothes first and wash my hands before doing anything else, but my sisters would go straight to the kitchen to find food; it has become part of me and that’s a habit I wish to keep.
We all have one or two habits that we seem good and wish to keep, and some habits that we seem bad and wish to drop, we equally have some habits that we wish to learn and incorporate into our lives, but probably over the days and weeks, it’s not working. According to James Clear, you are not using the right system.
For every habit, it follows 4 steps: cue, craving, responds and rewards
If you want to loose weight for instance, you maybe see a cake on the TV (that’s a cue), and you then feel like eating one (that’s a craving), and you then order for one online (that’s a responds), and you feel happy after eating it (that’s a reward).
And it is your reaction to the cue and craving that compounds to what becomes a habit.
I want you to learn something from this, whatever habit you wish to drop or pick up, start doing it, and do it with an open mind.
Open mind I mean you shouldn’t be hard on yourself, or else after a short while you’ll feel bored, tired and give up. It would seem like nothing is changing.
Habits grow, and so to pick up one or stop one, it has to be a process also. It took months and years of constant twisting of my hair for it to become a habit, if I wish to stop it, I shouldn’t timeframe it to two months. My major objective should be to stop twisting my hair unconsciously, that means, I should be able to stop myself when the cue and craving comes.
James said that, on habits you shouldn’t set your mind on the goal, but rather on the consistency. It is the little drops of water that fills a bucket.
Take for instance, if I want to form the habit of writing, and be an author someday, my major objective should be: to grow the habit of writing something evey day, and not stipulate myself to finishing a book in 3 months – especially if I am just a beginner in writing. In few weeks of forcefully writing, I’ll feel tired and stop. I’ll feel like I’ve been stressing and punishing my life.
James also said that when you wish to grow or end a habit, make it seem so easy for yourself, and make your mind see it like you’re really progressing. Have a positive mind towards it. For instance, amongst two people who wants to quit smoking, when asked “do you smoke?”, one answers “I am trying to quit” and the other answers “I don’t smoke again”, of the two who do you think is more likely to overcome any future smoking cue or craving? The second one. To him, he’s not trying because trying might be difficult and boring, to him, he’s already doing it, he has quit. Even though it’s still a process for him. And that’s the mindset I wish we go with whenever we want to stop or pick a habit.
If you want to loose weight, you could also follow that. Whenever you see a cue and the craving comes, consciously tell yourself and say out “I don’t eat past 8 pm” or “I only eat fruits and no carb foods.” In all, remain positive.
Following James’ rules, the best way to avoid and defeat the cue and craving is to make them invincible, unattractive, difficult and unsatisfying. On the other hand, if you wish to take up a habit, you should make the cue obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying. I will talk more about this in the next post.
One thing I want you to be sure of is, you can do anything that you set your mind at, if you be determined and consistent, you will surely get it. But many times, all we have is desire and the first energy to start, but not the consistency.
Habits don’t stick or stop in 3 months, it can even take less than 2 month, but on consistency. It might look like you’re not getting that desired body shape and it’s been 2 months, keep going. Remember that it’s not the last hit of the hammer that broke the stone into pieces, but all thousand hits that came before it.
It might look like it’s not working or going good, but it just ‘looks’ like that, it isn’t exactly it. It just looks.
You start up with that habit you like, and drop the ones you dislike, but first, start with an open positive mind. Don’t look at the future goal, maintain the daily consistency.
Have a sweet day, I’ll talk more on the next post. 💙
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